The Coaching Process: How It Works

In an earlier entry I touched briefly upon what coaching is and how it helps individuals with AD/HD.

This week I want to talk about how coaching is done. Of course every coach has his or her own unique style of coaching and/or model; so, once again, I’ll be speaking in general terms.

Most coaches start out by having a brief initial conversation with the potential client. In this initial exchange it’s to remember coaching is a partnership—it’s a two-way street—meaning each party is “interviewing” the other for what I call “a good match.” The coach accesses if the client is ready to be coached and is a good match, and the client accesses if the coach is the right one for him or her.

The criteria a coach uses in deciding who is a good client for coaching are several. The main one is, is the client ready, willing and able to be coached?

People of all ages and from all walks of life can benefit from coaching. The individuals who benefit most have a strong desire for personal growth and improvement. They are ready and committed to take action and participate fully in the coaching process. They also must have the willingness and desire to be accountable to their coach.

Coaching is based on a wellness model; if overriding problems with depression or other medical issues are inhibiting daily functioning of the client and are left untreated, then the coaching will not be successful. Very often the coach will work in tandem with the individual’s various healthcare providers to overcome these obstacles.

The client in turn must know what he or she wants from the coaching process before contacting a potential coach. This is easier than it might seem. Simply make a list of the issues you are struggling with and ask the coach how he or she would coach you on that particular issue! This way you’ll immediately get a sense of the style of coaching as well as competence level. What you’ll want to ask is: Does this person have an understanding of AD/HD? Do I get a sense she/he “gets” my challenges? Do I like his or her style?”

Of course, other basic considerations should be taken into account, such as: Has this person been trained as an AD/HD coach? How long has the coach been coaching? Does he or she have coaching credentials, or is she/he working toward any? How many clients has the coach worked with? What are some examples of successes the coach has had with clients?

Once you both decide it’s a good match, you then move forward to what is called the “initial interview or intake.”

THE NUTS AND BOLTS

The coaching process begins with an initial interview in which the client shares goals, history, and current challenges with the coach. The coach and client together develop a strategy and a roadmap specifically designed to meet the client’s individual needs. The coach guides the process, provides the structure, asks questions, and offers feedback, but the client drives the process forward. Regular meetings and check-ins are an essential part of the coaching process. These contacts can be in person or by telephone, texting or email. Periodic reviews can also be established to monitor overall progress. The lengths of these sessions differ between individual coaches. Some offer 30-minute sessions three times a month, while others offer one-hour sessions four times a month.

In this initial session other issues are covered such as a coaching agreement that reviews the parameters of coaching—what it covers and does not cover—and other general procedures such as payment and cancelation policies.

THE TIME FRAME OF ADHD COACHING

Since the coaching process is unique for every individual, the time frame for individual coaching relationships varies. Some clients need to hire a coach for a short-term project, while others hire a coach for long-term goal achievement.

The goal of coaching is to provide the external support and guidance necessary to jump-start the process until the client learns the skills necessary to keep him or her on track over time.

Ultimately, ADHD coaching helps the client learn about his or her own brain and its deficits in order to demystify them. When individuals have an understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses, they are then able to develop concrete, sustainable strategies to maximize their unique abilities. Coaching helps transform an “I can’t” attitude into an “I CAN” attitude. The brain can learn! This is the energy that helps clients make positive, lasting changes in their lives.

I hope this helps everyone to gain greater insight into how coaching is done!

Until next time, warmly,

Nancy

Deciding What to Keep and What to Throw Away

Many people with AD/HD have problems with clutter. There may be many reasons for this, among some is the false hope that one day you’ll actually bake that exotic cake you saw the recipe for in a pile of cooking magazines you’ve had for 10 years.

Another reason is the inability to prioritize and to decide what to keep and what to toss, causing the person to get overwhelmed, keep everything, and simply give up on ever sifting through the piles.

It doesn’t matter the cause--the end result is usually always the same- a sense of guilt, shame and frustration is felt by the person.

The general rule I use is this: be brutally honest with yourself and ask, “Am I really going to need this? Will I ever REALLY get around to making that cake? Will I actually ever make that scrapbook of mementoes for my kids? If your answer is NO! Throw the stuff out! 99.9% chance is, that if you’ve not read or acted on whatever it is by now, you never will!

Next, ask yourself, “Will this (magazine, paper, etc.) Impede my progress forward or will it propel it? If it will impede it, throw it out!

I have dozens of other strategies on how to get through the clutter and paperwork and can make that an entire section of the blog! But some quickie ones are:

-Always go through clutter while standing up- never sitting down

-Divide things into 3 piles “keep” “throw away” and “I don’t know yet”

-Use the 3-second rule—don’t keep anything in your hand for than 3 seconds- hurry put it in one of the 3 piles- quick! ;-)

-Designate a time to start and stop

Response From Coach Nancy

Thank you all for your posts! Here are some general thoughts of mine regarding some of the questions asked so far:

MEDS OR COFFEE?

Coaches are not qualified to advise clients on medication. They can help the client to set up schedules to remember to take their medication and to take them on time.

If other medication issues come up, or if a client is self-medicating by drinking excessive amounts of cola or coffee, I might, as a coach, suggest they see a Dr. who specializes in treating people with AD/HD.

Regardless, whether my client is on or off meds I suggest that they enlist good health practices and EXERCISE! EXERCISE! EXERCISE!

SIMPLIFYING A COMPLICATED LIFE

Many of my clients lead very busy lives and/or have a hard time saying no and end up with a lot on their plate.

As a coach, I help clients to simplify their lives by practicing saying no. I have them rehearse dialogues ahead of time, for example “I would love to help you out, but my schedule these days is really packed. Let me get back to you when things ease up.”

I also work with my clients to set out a schedule with clear boundaries as to how they will spend their time so all their activities are "contained" and don't "bleed" into one another.

TECHNIQUES FOR HANDING FINANCES

On the CHADD site www.chadd.org under the National Resource Center for AD/HD there are some great articles that have wonderful tips for adults with AD/HD and finances. The URL is:

http://www.help4adhd.org/gsearch.cfm?lr=lang_en&varLang=en&search=finances&srch.x=0&srch.y=0

FINDING A COACH IN YOUR AREA

The benefit of coaching is that it is done mostly by phone and can be done from anywhere in the world, so the coach doesn’t have to be from the client’s immediate geographic area. However, coaching is very individualized, and some clients do want an “in person” coach. So, it’s up to each person to seek out a coach that can meet their own needs.

There are many directories for coaches listed on my site under “finding a coach.” The most important thing is to interview a few of them and get a sense of their style. Learn as much as you can about coaching and what it can offer you. Prepare questions ahead of time. Then see who is a good match for you. To me, that is very important!

Finding My Life's Work

Hi!

I am pleased and honored to be the contributing writer for the new CHADD AD/HD Coaching Blog. I will post a new blog entry every second Tuesday of the month. My hope is to cover a variety of topics that I think will be of interest and helpful to practicing coaches, to people looking for a coach, and to the public.

As many of you know, I’ve been coaching for over 15 years. What some of you might not know is how I came to be a coach. I got into coaching due to my own struggles with AD/HD. I was fortunate to have grown up in a very structured home and learned early on the importance it made in my life. However, all the structure at home didn’t prevent me from having all the same struggles and challenges that everyone with AD/HD faces when they become independent and go on to face the “real world.”

College was a huge hurdle for me, and graduate school was impossible. I had to drop out of Harvard after my first semester. It wasn’t a matter my knowing WHAT to do, it was knowing HOW to apply the skills I learned growing up. Once I was diagnosed with AD/HD and went on a trial of medication, everything fell into place. I finally was able to APPLY the skills I had learned from my father.

As the saying goes “people attract people like themselves.” Before I knew it I was helping others by passing on the lessons I learned growing up. I saw how these strategies and methods my father used to keep me on track made a difference in other people’s lives. Essentially I was doing a form of coaching to help my fellow classmates with AD/HD as well as setting the groundwork for what would become my life’s work—coaching!

So, what is AD/HD coaching and how can a coach help a person with AD/HD?

AD/HD coaching is a dynamic methodology that aims to nurture the client’s ability to self-initiate change in his or her daily life. It is a supportive, practical, concrete process in which the client and coach work together to identify and pursue goals. Coaching helps individuals with AD/HD develop the structures necessary to function effectively and to learn practical approaches to the challenges of daily life.

This goal is ultimately accomplished by using strength-based strategies and the client’s own innate creativity to solve problems. The coach provides structure, feedback, and encouragement to keep the learning process a dynamic one. This is done until the client increases self-awareness, builds an arsenal of strategies to draw upon, and develops the confidence in his or her own ability to self-manage.

AD/HD coaching focuses on the specific needs of the individual being coached. Like all coaching, it is a supportive, goal-oriented process in which the coach and the client work to develop the tools, strategies and confidence necessary to help the client reach his or her potential. The AD/HD coach is trained and experienced in working with people with AD/HD and is capable of helping them develop strategies that maximize the talents of the AD/HD brain and compensate for the individual difficulties the client experiences.

Typically, AD/HD coaching helps individuals with AD/HD develop the structures, processes, and practical approaches necessary to meet the challenges of everyday life and excel in their special areas of talent.

I am excited to share my thoughts and experiences with all of you. If you have any questions you would like me to address please feel free to submit them.

Thank you very much for participating in this exciting venture!

Warmly,

Nancy

First Posting

Coach Nancy will be posting on Tuesday of next week.